The love of a father

If we can imagine a father more loving than the God we believe in, then our belief in God needs healing. For God is, and always has been, the perfect father.

Even flawed and imperfect parents are filled with compassion, longing to see beyond their child's mistake. They don't fixate on the failure in front of them but ask: "Why is my child doing this?" They care about the heart, not just the action. If we, in our brokenness, can love like that, how much more will our perfect heavenly Father?

We are all people shaped by our own stories of relational pain and are wading through life with our distorted thoughts and wounded hearts. We struggle to love unconditionally and freely, because we are inherently needy ourselves. We were declared "not good" in being alone. Yet our heavenly Papa is different. He has forever dwelt in perfect union with his Son and Spirit. A holy huddle of love, fully satisfied in itself.

Humanity was not created out of need. We were not spoken into existence to satisfy a needy God. He created us because He wanted us. He longed to delight in us. It was a selfless act, an overflow of love from the river of the Trinity. He desired to share His love and crowned us with freedom. A freedom to love Him in return or to walk away.

I once heard a story about a father and his little girl, Evelyn. A tender-hearted child, a true little princess. She trusted her Dad completely and simply loved being with him. Her days were full of play and laughter, and if hunger came, she never worried, she knew a hearty and delicious meal would soon be ready. She felt her father's delight and provision, and that love made her free. Free to dream, to dance and to wonder without fear.

But one day everything changed. A new voice entered her life, a babysitter, whispering lies into her heart. "Your Dad doesn't really care for you". "He doesn't want what's best for you". "He's just full of rules. He doesn't love joy and fun like you do". "He will only love you, if you behave and earn it."

And slowly, heartbreakingly Evelyn began to believe those lies. The known intimacy faded into hesitance and withdrawal. Her father's voice became distant, and in its place came doubt fear and striving. As Evelyn grew older, so did her wounds. The pain of living in a broken world left its mark. And every ache, every disappointment, somehow found its way back to her father. She began to believe he was the cause, or at least that he allowed it, to teach her a lesson. Her heart grew cold and she kept him at arm's length. Visits home became fewer and fewer, eventually reduced to holidays and family birthdays. She hid herself from intimacy, navigating the shallow waters of smalltalk. She no longer came for hugs and laughter, but obligation. Intimacy now felt unsafe. Her father, once her refuge, now seemed a threat. An enemy in her eyes. The one, she believed, had abandoned her. The one, she thought, had caused the pain.

And one day, it all spilled out. She pushed him away, screamed and clenched her fist. She began pounding on his chest, the only thing she knew to do with all her pain.

Heartbroken, the father saw his own daughter suffering from her wrong beliefs about him. Yet he didn't leave. He endured, bleeding from the afflicted blows. Because He would rather suffer pain, than to lose her nearness.

Aren't we all like Evelyn, wandering in distance caused by our own misconceptions of God? Haven't we all taken the disappointments of life and believed God to be the source of it?

A healthy view of God as Father, is not just important, it is everything. A.W. Tozer once said: "What we believe about God, is the most important thing about us." Our view of God is the wellspring of our lives. It shapes every thought, every breath, every relationship. Our hearts can only pump out the blood of love they have already received. We can't love others more than we love ourselves. And we can't love ourselves unless we have truly received the love of our heavenly Father. Our doubts and feelings of distance, those quiet whispers: "Is He really good? Does He really love me?" do not make those doubts true. Not everything we feel is true, not every thought is from within ourselves.

Just like Evelyn beating on the chest of a Father, who was reaching to embrace, not to harm, we too have misread the goodness of God.

But long before the world began, Jesus was crucified to forever tear down the walls of separation. He bled, to awaken us from the sleep of unbelief of the father's goodness caused by our hardened hearts. For humanity made God an enemy, but only in its own mind. Yet the Father has always loved. He does not try to love, He is love. By very nature, He cannot help but love.

Isn't it startling, that we believe things about God, that we would never imagine doing to our children? We framed our God to need retribution for our rebellion and distance. God doesn't need anything, He wants us. We struck the Son and killed him and the Father allowed it, so that his love could be portrayed publicly. The scourged body of Jesus is what humanity does to a God, it believes is against them. But He is not, He never was.

We need to repent from our belief that the forbidden tree is more powerful than the tree his Son died on. What if the father doesn't need recompense for our wrongdoing and rather wants sin to be removed in us, so that we wouldn't suffer forever and are able to live in eternal intimacy with Him? Sin leads to death. And death and eternal life cannot coexist. The angel guarding the tree of life with a flaming sword, was never a symbol of wrath, but a messenger of grace. God could not bear to see us eating from that tree and living forever in our disobedience and pain.

One day we will eat from the tree of life, but only in our new and glorified bodies. Bodies without sickness, without pain and tears. God only approves a forever for us, if it is to our bliss. The leaves of healing and eternal life are gifted to humanity only in their perfect state. And on that day, we will walk again in the garden, in the cool of the day, with Papa. Overwhelmed by his goodness. Our hearts and minds awakened that he was and is always good. We just doubted. We are finally truly whole, healed, home.

P.S. : Papa is especially fond of you.